Hey, GAP. You can chill now! Kanye West Gave ‘No Touch’ Orders on Skete According to Wack 100

Here you go GAP Execs. Your investors are searching for info on Kanye’s state of mind, so you guys better be up on the latest Google News that Kanye wants Skete for himself.

Wack says that Kanye doesn’t want his peeps messing with Skete — “presumably because he wants to fight his own battle.” It does sound like Kanye has ordered nobody to take Skete out, mess him up, accuse Pete of shooting up one of the kids with drugs, carve up Kim Kardashian’s name with a knife on his chest . . . nothin’ . . . you know, the sorta thing really hip men do when they have scores to settle.

When asked by No Jumper host Adam22 what he’d do if he ran into the SNL comedian, Wack replied, “Skete can’t be around me. He gotta roll it up. Kanye gave specific instructions for nobody to touch Skete. He told us ‘do not touch Skete, don’t put our hands on Skete, don’t say nothing disrespectful to Skete.'”

Skete belongs to Kanye, GAP. If you can talk some sense into Ye, we might be able to save Pete.

Kanye intends to handle Skete personally, so tell your Board of Directors that everything’s cool. Hopefully nobody dies this week. I’m thinking you can start publishing your own tabloid at the end of the day: “Kanye Knows Best!”

It’s a big change from the good ‘ol days, GAP. No more chinos! You’re driving in the Bugatti lane, now. Buckle up buttercups!

No Kanye at Coachella! Petition Passes 35,000

Update: The petition has crossed 35,000 Wed. am 3/23. We’re still in second gear, but online media coverage is helping. We’re plodding along in a turtle and the hare story, but growing exponentially.

Why We Are Signing This Petition to Have Kanye Not Perform at Coachella

People who are signing this petition don’t trust Kanye West not to hurt somebody or start a riot at Coachella. What we have witnessed from him in the last 90 days is totally frightening. I am so concerned that for weeks I got up and the first thing I checked at 6am was whether Ye had harmed his now ex-wife.

Today, we’re all supposed to sit here like morons while Kanye gets up on stage at Coachella, with a high probability of going on some crazy rant against women, against his ex-wife Kim Kardashian, against Planned Parenthood and Pete Davidson.

We say NO! I’m not cancelling you, Ye. I am worried that you might start a total riot. Or harm yourself. And you’ve got an easy out, Kanye. Blame Billie Eilish who didn’t apologize to Travis Scott for caring about fans at her concert.

You told the world that if Billie didn’t apologize, you weren’t coming to Coachella. Billie was, of course, as gracious as she could be about your accusations. Keep your word, Kanye.

You cannot be trusted ever to keep your mouth shut, because nobody tells Kanye West what to do. Like Vladimir Putin — who you admire for his tough-guy stance, which you said on your own social media wall — you ain’t takin’ no s#it from anybody, and especially women.

You do it in the name of God, who gave you permission in the shower to do just about anything you damn well please. Just like the guy who promised to kill me over Planned Parenthood, making my life hell for a year. You would love him, Kanye. He’s your guy.

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